the art of receiving

March 29, 2016

You know when you have an awareness about something that is pretty life changing?  You know, what Oprah calls the  “ah ha” moment?  I just call it awareness, although, I guess there have been times when I yelled “ah ha” with excitement after having one of these moments.  Anyway, it’s not uncommon, once you experience this, to begin being hyper-aware of this new found wisdom all around you… especially in other people.  Let me explain, a few years ago while on one of my many adventures into personal development, I was exploring certain areas of my life that I was struggling with, or maybe just areas I thought could be improved.  I was using my mind to try and figure out how to work harder, make more money, give more money, find a partner etc., etc.  After completely exhausting myself, I stopped the mental masturbation and just sat back for a moment to rest…. and that’s when it came.  I realized that my problem wasn’t my lack of hard work, philanthropy, or not being lovable enough to find a romantic partner.  My problem was that I was unable to receive. 

Basically, all the things I was asking for in my life were all around me.  But for some reason or another I was turning my head the opposite direction and pretending not to see them… probably so I could continue living in my pool of self-pity.  Don’t judge, it’s familiar and cozy there.

Anyway, in case you’re not sure what I am talking about, here is how it works in a nut shell.  Have you ever heard the phrase “ask and you shall receive”?  You probably have if you have ever read a self-development book, listened to a “guru” or read the bible.  It’s not really a secret as of late, although I don’t think most people know exactly what it means or how to apply it to their lives.  Here is what it means…. ask and you shall receive :)

It literally means what it says.  I just wanted to point that out because if you’re anything like me you will take a really easy concept and think about it so much, make it so complicated that it’s impossible to even think about anymore because you are so tired and need to take a nap.

But believe it or not, the Universe wants you to be happy.  There is no karmic contract sent from the heavens that was set in place to make your life on earth a living hell.  And so, if you ask for something, the Universe begins to rearrange itself so that request can come into fruition in some way (sorry, the clouds are not going to shit out a million bucks on your head…bummer). 

Also from this concept comes the phrase, “be careful what you wish for.”  Ever heard that?  That’s because “ask and you shall receive” actually works.  Now that we have covered that, let’s get back to this whole receiving thing.  As we talked about, the Universe wants you to be happy, it also has no polarity, which means it has no judgment, which means if you ask for a pile of shit, that’s what you’re getting.  If you ask for a pile of gold, that’s what you’re getting.  There are two points to keep in mind here:

  1.  Most people don’t ask for anything. 
  2. If they just so happen to, they are unable to receive what they asked for. 

Women are especially prone to not being willing to receive.  It is in their nature to take care of everything and everyone around them.  Which is fine, but when someone tries to do something nice for them or give them a compliment they are all, “oh, I just couldn’t,” “oh this old ugly shirt?”  You know what I mean?  I have a friend who did something nice for me and so I took her to coffee…. she was literally fighting me to pay for her own coffee.  I back handed her.  (Kidding)

So what is the problem with that?  Imagine for a minute, you are standing behind a giant brick wall.  You are on one side, and on the other side is the light of the Universe.  It’s a pretty intense light, it’s the light of everything you are, everything you ever wanted, the light of love and possibilities.  Which is probably why you built that giant brick wall, I mean, especially if you  can’t even receive a cup of coffee.  So, you hear this idea “ask and you shall receive” and you decide to put it to the test.  So you get a piece of paper and write down your question, you make it into a paper airplane and throw it over your wall.  You request is received, the Universe shifts and presents you with your request.   But remember, you are sitting there on the other side of Fort Knox waiting patiently and nothing is happening.  See what I mean?

You have to break down the brick wall you built to protect yourself, so that you can reap the benefits of all the answered requests sitting a few feet from you. 

Here is the kicker, when you decide to take down that wall and open yourself to the possibilities that are available to you, you have to be willing to receive everything.  You can’t just drill little holes in your wall and cross your fingers that only the good stuff flows through, you have to take the whole thing down and receive everything.  Here is what I mean, if you’re going to receive a compliment you have also receive the criticism or judgment.  It sounds scary, but it’s not really.  When you start to break that giant wall down and see the world differently, something else shifts inside you.  You realize that you can receive all things with grace and ease, that judgments and insults don’t matter and they pass through you like it ain’t no thing.  You start to experience the world from a place of joy instead of struggle.  You start to realize that as you are creating your life, you are not alone, the Universe is the co-creator and always has your back.        

Where in you life have you seen this work?  I would love to hear your experiences, comment at the bottom of the post.

______________________________________SHOP THIS LOOK________________________________

Dress, BB Dakota Laine Heavy Crepe Strappy Dress  On SALE!  (this dress is amazing, I also have it in red!)

Shoes, Vince Camuto ‘Sandria’ Peep Toe Ghillie Sandal

Purse, Black Clutch (Similar Version)


The Body Post (Plus Spring Stripes)

March 25, 2016

I was watching Vice the other night and it was about the country of Mauritania where the women go out into the dessert, often times with their daughters, they sit under tarps and drink nothing but milk and eat these little balls of dough until they throw up.  Well, they do their best not to throw up or to move too much because the entire purpose of this practice is to gain as much weight as possible.  In their culture being heavy is seen as beautiful, so much so that it is hard to find a man to marry if you are not fat.  Basically the bigger the better.  Which is very  interesting to me, considering the culture we live in which is basically the exact opposite.  

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Is your need for validation a set back?

March 23, 2016

Do you ever wake up in the morning and wonder why you are not where you want to be in your life?  I do this a lot.  And don’t get me wrong, I have an amazing life.  But I am a dreamer and a seeker, which sounds cool and everything but in reality kind of feels like a constant yearning for something unknown or some dream just out of reach.  I’m always wondering what’s next and I live in a constant state of boredom.  Even when I’m overwhelmed with work and tasks, I still feel bored.  It’s not necessarily the typical way we describe boredom, like not having anything to do, it’s more of an itch that won’t go away.  An itch that is constantly tugging at me no matter how much I ignore it.  It feels like something shoving me to fulfill my life’s purpose and yet I don’t know what exactly that is. 

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What is Consciousness?

March 21, 2016


Consciousness.  This word is thrown around left and right these days.  Conscious living, conscious eating, raising conscious children, having a conscious relationship, etc. etc. etc.  I bet it means different things to different people.  I bet some people use it because they passionately think it will change the world, while others use it on a more superficial level, some use it medically to refer to themselves or others as awake (up and talking) and maybe some people just use it to use it… I probably do that with a few words :)

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Spring Florals + Getting out of a Style Rut

March 16, 2016

I have to give the credit for this dress to my mom.  We were wandering around Anthropologie one day and she held it up with a big smile on her face asking me if I liked it.  “No” I promptly replied and started to walk way.  She told me to just try it on.  “Fine.”  And man, was I glad I did.  It’s one of those dresses that just makes me feel amazing when I put it on.  (Probably because it’s silk)  Once I put it on I was frolicking around the dressing room like a little girl on Christmas morning.  It’s flowing, tiered, silk fabric made my day!   

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4 Tools to Change Your Perspective on Self-Doubt

March 15, 2016


I was having dinner with my boyfriend this past Friday night and we were discussing something that got me thinking.  He brought up the topic, which is weird because usually I am the one who always takes everything to the deeper side.  Anyway, he said he thought it was interesting  how someone can say something mean about him and it doesn’t phase  him at all.  It’s like he knows it’s not true and so it just rolls off his chest and he goes on with his life.  Me on the other hand, I have a really hard time doing that.  If someone is mean to me, or I hear that someone was talking shit about me, I can’t let it go.  In fact, I think about it a lot.  I still remember mean things people said to me in elementary and high school, and I still think about it now.  The opposite is also true, I’m overly sensitive to other people’s feelings as well.  This isn’t news to me, I am fully aware that I do this.  The thing is, I started to go into self-doubt and judgment for not having a thicker skin.  I thought about all the times I tried to be more extroverted and failed.  I felt myself start to spiral into a hole of self-pity. 

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2 must reads to spark your creativity

March 9, 2016

I am a book hoarder.  I love them.  I’m not going to lie and say that I have read every single book I own.  But I will say that I intend to read every book I have purchased.  I’m also always reading about 5-7 books at a time.  My daily mood changed as does my daily book preference.  Although, there are those books I pick up that are so good I don’t put them down until I’m through the entire thing.

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the art of self care (part 1)

March 4, 2016

lemon water cropped

A few months ago I was having dinner with a good friend and his girlfriend, the new year had just begun and we were talking about what we would like to see actualize in our lives in 2016.  My list was really long, even discussing it was a little exhausting.  After my unorganized, long winded explanation, he told me his plans.  He had heard (I think from Oprah) a great way to create “resolutions” without the big long list of goals that you will upkeep up for exactly two weeks.  He said he picks one word for the entire year.  Light bulb!  So I copied him!  And I’m so glad I did.  You can pick anything from spectacular, to brilliant, to knowledge, to travel, to relax, etc.  I thought about this for a couple days, threw out my long list and settled on something. continue reading


sometimes you just fall on your face

March 2, 2016

fall on your face

Figuratively speaking, I have fallen on my face several times in my life.  I mean, just a few years ago I took a leap of faith into the unknown.  I quit my corporate job, rented out my house, and moved in with my parents so I could pursue my business full time.  And well, a year into that I was $50k in debt, depressed and still living with my parents.. at 31 years old.  It wasn’t my finest moment.  In fact, it really did feel like a big fall, flat on my face.  Oh, and the time I was asked to give a speech at my high school graduation and I COMPLETELY bombed it.  To this day, that is still the most embarrassing moment of my life.  Face plant. continue reading


Material Girl

February 26, 2016


I love things.  Not going to lie, things make me happy.  Not like in a hoarder kind of way.  But I’m always on the look out for the dress I can’t live without, I’m always trying new recipes which often requires new kitchen gadgets, and most expensive, I’m constantly re-decorating the house.  I love shopping!  No shame. continue reading