For obvious reasons I have replaced my nightly glass of wine with a cup of herbal tea before bed. I rarely read the tea bag wisdom that comes on the end of the string… mostly because by the end of the day the last thing I want to do is think about trying to be a better person. I have most likely been thinking about that in one form or another since the moment I opened my eyes that morning, and I’m ready to binge watch Netflix until it’s time to go to bed. However, lately I have been struggling with some areas of my life. Specifically my romantic relationship and my career. And since I live and work with my boyfriend, those two areas are pretty prominent in my life right now. I won’t get into the details but let’s just say that I have been actively thinking myself into exhaustion about it for the last couple months, pushing for solutions, blaming other people, ruffling feathers, creating waves, jumping to conclusions and all the while managing to be passive aggressive about it all. I know…..you’re dying to hang out with me. Anyway, while Netflix was changing from episode nineteen to episode twenty, I happen to glance down at that stupid little tea bag string and read the message.
It read: Realize that you are always the other person.
Seriously, I have been trudging through the mud for months and are you are going appear gracefully and subtly out of no where and in eight little words shift my entire reality?
And that is usually how spirit sends you messages, when you least expect it. That’s really exactly what happened, it felt like in the blink of an eye I had the awareness of what would change the situation. The only problem was, it wasn’t necessarily the solution that I wanted. Why? Because I had been spending so much time blaming the world for my suffering. Now, my tail was between my legs.
I zoned out the rest of the show I was watching, unraveling this insight and talking myself into actually living it. I was both annoyed and empowered. I knew that the only person that could give me a hand out of the mud was myself. And I was also the one that put myself there. My entire life, including these specific issues with relationship and career were merely a reflection of my thoughts, beliefs, insecurities, dreams, etc. I am the other person. I always have been the other person.
Very often in my life, and I think it would be safe to say that I’m not the only one, I will read amazing books, get spiritual insights, read life-changing picture quotes on Instagram…. and that’s as far as it goes. I nod my head and offer a small smile and then do nothing but continue to live as I have been living. But that doesn’t really work when we want to improve our situation or make a shift in our life. I was asking for something in my relationship that I wasn’t willing to give in return. I knew right there sitting on the couch that I needed to be the person I was asking him to be. (Don’t tell him that ;))
Later, as I lay in bed that night those eight words stayed with me. Naturally, I started thinking deeper into that little phrase. I remembered that I am more than my body and more than my mind. I remembered this bigger picture, this greater reality that exists beyond my emotions. I thought about how every person that has showed up in my life has come at a time when that was exactly what I needed, what I wanted to be, or what I thought I deserved. When I desired adventure and spontaneity, a free spirit, job free person showed up to travel with me and reflect that piece of my being back at me. A guy who treated me like a POS was a reflection of how I felt about myself at that point in my life. Once I was ready for stability, a person who offered that was now in my life. The cool thing, you are also a reflection of them. It’s both exciting and humbling to remember that there is more to you than what you sometimes think.